Thursday, May 14, 2015

Not Alone...

When I was asked to help write for this blog, I kept thinking "how can I possibly contribute? My husband and I haven't adopted, we didn't even try IVF yet!"  In many ways I am very much a newbie to all of this, but as I read all of the other posts, I started to see where I fit in.

I've joined an amazing group of people who are at a wide range of places in their journeys to create a family. They all have their own story to tell ranging from heartbreaking to awe inspiring, and I've started to figure out who to talk to when I want to hear that "Everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to" or who will cry with me if that's what I need and even who will stamp their feet and whine with me about how we've all been dealt a crummy hand.

Many years ago my father told me my friends were nothing and family was everything. While I understand now what he was trying to say, I also know he obviously had no idea how things would be different for me.  Out of all the women in my family, going back five generations, I am the only one that has ever had an issue with infertility. I don't know how, but somehow I must have known I would have difficulty because I told no one that we were trying to conceive. (I didn't want the expectant questions and ultimately the pity every month)  For five years I suffered with the monthly failures and then the tests with no one to talk to except my husband. Finally we decided to tell my sister what was going on because she was always upset with me for not visiting her three children enough.  I tried explaining how it broke my heart to be with them and sent me into a depression with all the typical dark thoughts of how I would never . . . (well you know what I mean). I know she tried, but she didn't get it. I could almost hear her thinking that if I wanted children so badly, then I should be happy to visit hers. She then proved it by changing the subject to whatever silly thing hers had done recently.

It wasn't much later that I found this group and realized how wrong my father was and also just how "NOT ALONE" I really am!
Written By 
Bonnie
"Future Mom"
Retail Business Owner
www.LIadoptionsupport.com
Join us at our next POST adoption meeting May 29, 2015
Join us at our next general meeting June 5, 2015
See our website for details!

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