Thursday, May 21, 2015

Our beginning...Part I

Something inside of me always knew that I wasn't going to be able to conceive and birth a child. 
Long before I was married,  the one thing I always DID know was all I wanted to be was a mother. I always said I'm going to have two kids and then I'm going to adopt.  Adoption was always in my vocabulary. 
So let's fast forward to 2003, I was 30 years old and I meet my husband, we marry when I am 33, we start trying to conceive right away.  We are met with no success, infertility and years of fertility treatments. We are surrounded by friends and family that are moving along making their families. Along the way we lose plenty of money and even some friends, I was truly at a low point.
What now? At this point I was leading an infertility support group. Until one day fate entered my life and lead the way for me. In July 2007 I was hosting a meeting at my house and there was a new member there that was clearly NOT supposed to be there. This was not the right meeting for her.  She looked uncomfortable and didn't even speak. But after a couple of hours I turned to her and asked her to introduce herself.  She began saying she didn't think this was the right meeting for her (see I was right).  She told the group she had already began the journey of learning about how to start her family through adoption.  She was only there for support since she just had another miscarriage. I was listening so intently to her and light bulbs were going off in my head.   It was like the tunnel that had no light at the end anymore had just opened up and there was a bright beam shining in.  I finally saw some help! That person who opened my eyes to adoption would be my now closest friend and partner in crime Chemene.  
So this begins my adoption journey.  By a freak coinsidence we both found an adoption support group to join and ended up seeing each other two months later at someone elses home.  They taught us how all the resources they could; taught us the differences between agency and attorney.  So together Chemene and I went down the same path.  We got our home study done by the same social worker, hired the same attorney and even got certified on the same day.  That is when our friendship started. 
Now we were ready to find our family!  The phone calls began, the ups and downs started with some months of tons of what I would describe as phone call practice and then many many months with crickets chirping!  Chemene became my closest friend; the person who I would lean on throughout the process.  No one else understood what I was going through.  Of course my husband kind of did, but he wasn't taking the calls, scrutinizing every word that comes out of his own mouth.  Chemene  got it.  All through this time I had a full time job and placing ads in newspapers (this is before internet advertising) was its own full time job.  About 14 months in, we decide to hire someone to place ads.  I needed a break and I was at the end of my rope.  
Shortly after we hired someone, I was working with 7 expectant mothers.  It was crazy and super intense.  I felt that if none of these worked out, we would be done.  Five ended up to be scammers, one changed her mind and then there was K, the amazing young woman that changed our lives.  Her decision is what made made us parents...

More of this story to come!  Keeping following us for Part II...

Written by Josette
Adoptive Mom
Group Co-Leader 
Special Education Teacher

Join us at our next POST adult meeting on May 29, 2015
Join us at our next Pre/Post General Meeting on June 5, 2015

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