When we started this journey, we were open to, at most, a semi-open adoption with pics and letters. The 5 months we were in contact with K, that is what she wanted as well. We were following all of the suggested "rules", we didn't give our last name or town where we live. We started talking to her in Nov of 2008, she was due in March 2009. We went down to TN in Jan to meet her. We went to her Mom's house and were met with true southern hospitality. We, strangers to them, were welcomed into their home as if we were part of their family. We met many members of K's family including her 2 children. We sat at their table and enjoyed home cooked meals. It was such an amazing experience. Slowly the idea of openness was getting chipped away at. We drove down in March, 3 days before she was scheduled to be induced. K and I bond some more and again welcomed as family. Chip, chip, chip...
The day our son, D was born was one of the most bittersweet days I have ever experienced. Here is this beautiful amazing little baby. I am the first to hold him in my arms. I was instantly in love! Yet here is this beautiful, amazing young woman that I love and adore and her heart is breaking. I was ecstatic and devastated at the same time, a feeling I don't think can even be explained.
The hospital was amazing, we were given our own room at the hospital. While there, K was in a different hall only allowing her mom and us as visitors. Us? The same people who are part of the reason her heart is breaking! She just amazed me! I sat in her room with her talking and crying. When she asked me to write down my information just so she made sure she had it to keep in touch, it was easiest thing to do, wrote our first and last names and our address. Chip, chip, chip....
K's sister J came to the hospital and we meet for the first time. She was not sure about this whole adoption thing. We hit it off instantly. They came and visited baby D at the hospital, pictures of family members holding him. It was all beautiful and surreal. Chip, chip, chip....
K signs, baby gets discharged, off to the the hotel we go. We get to the hotel and there is a "Welcome baby D" sign in the lobby waiting for us. K's mom comes to visit us at the hotel bringing us gifts and a letter from K. Chip, chip, chip....
Five days of bonding at the hotel, just the 3 of us. People say how they can't imagine being so far away trapped in a hotel room for so long. I say, a beautiful bonding time, we definitely cherish those 5 days! D was born March 10, we got home on St. Patrick's Day, March 17th.
This whole experience brings us full circle to my first blog entry about our last visit, this past Easter break. I never would have thought when we started this journey that we would have an open adoption like we do. I love our southern family! I wish we lived closer to celebrate holidays and events like graduations with them. While we were last there, K's brother-in-law said to me when he was saying goodbye to us, "Thank you, thank you again for letting us be in his life." My response to him was, "No more thank you's. We're family and this what family does, get together and see each other. This is how it's going to be, so get used to it!"
You never know where your journey will take you! Keep your mind and your heart open!
I am so thankful for our son and our extended family!
Stay tuned for our youngest son's adoption story.
Written By Josette
Special Education Teacher
Join us at our next PRE/POST adoption support group meeting on June 5, 2015