So, when I was asked to contribute to this Blog I was super excited, but I have been slacking, as I have only written one blog entry. I have the best intentions, but because of my crazy life, 10 kids at home ranging from 22 to 2, that in itself is a few stories, but I am going to try to get this one done today. Ironically I am writing this blog entry at “work”. Not really, my friend owns a great little thrift store and she wanted to take her family camping, so I am in charge for three days, it very quiet. So I realized this is the perfect opportunity to get at least one entry done.
I have thought of so many topic to write about, my family’s adoption story being one, my passion for the adoption of older kids from foster care being another, but today I feel compelled to right about the idea of an adoption journey.
This word journey is defined as an act of traveling from one place to another; travel somewhere and no matter how we come to adoption or where we end up, we all have a journey. Unlike many people who come to adoption, my husband and I did not suffer from infertility, we have 4 biological children, neither of us have had this lifelong yearning to adopt, we are not called to adopt by some higher power, we kind of fell into it 12 years ago, and our first adoption was a 15 year old girl from foster care. This was not at all planned, but our life’s journey got us there, and since then we have legally adopted 3 more children and fostered somewhere in the range of 40 children, many of whom we have “morally” adopted, made an unconditional commitment to be their adult and I know our journey continues on. Our oldest daughter is Irish and Italian and if you saw us out, she looks like she could be our biological child, since then we have adopted children of several different races, cultures, special needs and sexual orientations, 10+ years ago, if you would of asked me if this is where we would be, I would of said you are crazy. Our oldest child graduated from High School in 2004 and our youngest will graduate in 2031(holy crap) and our journey carries on.
I tell you all this because about 6 months ago I joined this adoption support group and I was wary because I have gone to these groups before, I never felt quite included, if it was a foster care group, I would feel out of place, typical domestic adoption group, I would feel out of place, International Adoption group, I would feel out of place. I love and crave support, being an adoptive parent makes your parenting experience unique, and I wanted to be around people who understood. I went to my first meeting, and my husband kindly said to me please don’t get into a fight, as he knows me very well, and knows I have strong opinions about adoption and parenting, and I don’t always have the best filter, I promised I would try very hard to be on my best behavior. Sometime after midnight I returned home, and he asked how it was, and I was so excited to say it was awesome!!! The group was made up of families, most of which became or are becoming families in very different ways than us, but they respected my journey. We are a mixed group, all at different places on out journey, all of us on different paths, but remarkably we all journey together. In the short time, I have called these people my friends, I have watched family’s courses take many twists and turns, and I am honored to be on this adoption journey with this particular group of people.
As adoptive families we are diverse, domestic infant, agency, private, international, special needs, foster care, but the common thread is the journey. No matter where or how your adoption story goes, the one thing we all have in common is that we are on a journey.
Written By Danielle
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